Two tickets, two years: sitting with relatives

The most common injury in a family sitting is the hunt for the authorised year. One sibling has a ticket for 1974. The other has a memory of 1975 and a school photograph dated 1976. A parent, if still alive, may hold a third date and a reason for lying about the first two. If the sitting tries to pick a winner, someone will leave the paper room as the person who was wrong about their own life.

We do not pick a winner. We put the tickets on the page and write the disagreement as part of the journey. Identity was applied differently for each person from the moment the sailings split. That split is often the station, not the “true” date.

Who should be in the chair

Two related adults who want a shared record, and who can bear to hear a version that is not theirs. A third person only with consent given before the date. A parent paying for adult children must not sit in to supervise the account. Children under eighteen are not sat with.

If one person wants a canvas of their own and another wants a family sitting, those are two commissions. Mixing them produces a document no one can own.

Spoken order

At the start we agree who speaks first at each station. The other person may not interrupt with a correction. Corrections go on a notepad and are offered at the end of that station. This feels unnatural. It is how we keep the sitting from becoming the kitchen-table argument with better pencils.

After the shared note

The shared note is eight to twelve pages. It will disappoint anyone who wanted a family bible. It will serve anyone who wanted both tickets on one page. Sitters sometimes commission individual canvases later; the family note is not a draft of those canvases, and we do not copy paragraphs across. A journey told alone is a different application of identity from a journey told with a sibling in the room.

If you want this sitting, write with who will come and which years you already know you do not share.